Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Parents, lock up your daughters

People, you have no idea how much my kid loves teenage girls. Actually, it's more like about age 11 to age 24. I don't mean he kind of thinks they're fun because they think he's cute and pay attention to him. I mean stopping-in-the-middle-of-the-street-and-staring-at-them-mouth-agape-as-they-walk-along-kind-of-way. I mean making-up-14-imaginary-teenage-sisters-who-live-in-the-basement-kind-of-way. I mean running-around-like-a-crazy-person-when-he's-at-my-office-having-a-difficult-time-formulating-complete-coherent-sentences-because-there-are-pretty-girls-who-work-there-kind-of-way. I mean being-fascinated-with-stripping-clothes-off-barbie-dolls-kind-of-way. I mean interrupting-Gram-when-she's-reading-a-book (which is one of his absolute favorite things to do)-to-get-ready-for-a-fictional-date-with-fictional-girls-whose-names-he-doesn't-know-kind-of-way. I mean waving-and-grinning-and-pretending-to-be-shy-with-high-school-girls-on-the-school-bus-next-to-us-at-a-stoplight-and-saying-how-the-girls-want-to-marry-him-kind-of-way. I mean dumping-his-friends-as-soon-as-a-girl-comes-into-the-vicinity-kind-of-way. I mean dumping-his-MOMMA-as-soon-as-a-girl-comes-into-the-vicinity-kind-of-way.

If it's this bad now, I'm terrified of what puberty will bring. And, even though it's cute now to most of the girls, I fear it will become stalker-ish as he gets older. So, I'll enjoy his love of females, and foster it so he (HOPEFULLY!) won't become creepy but will instead respect women for the fabulous creatures we are.

Today's lesson? If you see an adorable 4yo staring at you out in public, it might be my kid and is definitely because he thinks you're beautiful. Smile back at him. It'll make his day!

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