Wednesday, September 8, 2010

What a Day!!

Crap, y'all. It's been a day. Started off with the kid and I on the wrong foot. He woke up too early because he peed in the bed (suggestions on how to help him stop this would be seriously welcomed!) and was really whiney. I apparently woke up on the wrong side of the bed and kind of lost it with him because I don't do well with whiney. We both took a well-earned time out and proceeded to school, late, of course. And being late always gets me cranky.

Then I found out that some people I used to know pretty well were arrested in a drug bust early this morning. Their kids were there and had to witness it. While I'm not exactly surprised, I am really sad about it, for them and their kids...for them having never had a good chance at being anywhere other than where they ended up...for the likelihood that their kids will also end up there.

Then I decided that I was going to call a different adoption agency, just to get some info, because we are really OVER this wait. Seriously, 18 months is too long, I'm over it. That was a really good conversation. The lady told us that they typically place within 6-12 months. However, when I told her some additional information, like that we already have a son who is African American and want another child who is as well, she thought we would have a baby within (get ready for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 3-4 WEEKS. That is 3-4 weeks from when they do a home study update, so realistically about 5-7 weeks from now! That's huge, right??!

And then, I decided to call our social workers just to see what they had to say, what they know about the agency. When I called the first time neither of them were there. So I decided I'll just call back tomorrow. But then I decided to call back, just to leave a voice mail. I was surprised by L, one of our social workers, actually answering the phone (shocked because really, they're hardly ever there). We chatted a few minutes and she actually said she's been reading the blog (Hi, L!) and wants to share some of it with the current potential adoptive parents group. I'm so honored that she feels like what I have to say is... I don't know...valid? good enough? I don't know. I'm certainly humbled and so appreciative that she feels like it will be helpful to others!

So then (I know - can you believe there's more??!) I asked her about the other agency and she had good things to say, but hesitantly asked me if we might be willing to wait a few weeks before sending them our info. I said I guessed that was fine. She said there are a couple of situations. She asked if I wanted to know more. I said "yeah", but I was thinking something more along the lines of "Hell YES!". Turns out we've been picked by a birth mother! Holy crap, people! This is IT! Well, maybe, but it's certainly HUGE!!!! She explained that she hadn't called us yet because the birth father is currently MIA and he has to be found before we can really do anything. They need to know his feelings and intentions. He does know she's pregnant and there's reason to believe he also does not want to parent this baby. However, until L actually talks to him, we really don't know anything.

As my friend and co-worker T. said, I'm trying to stay in a state of quiet excitement. I don't want to get too excited in case this isn't our baby, for whatever reason. But I also feel like maybe I am ready to have some hope again. It feels safe to hope and that is such a relief. We have some movement at least.

I'm asking for prayers, supportive thoughts, positive mojo, good vibes, whatever - not just for us, but for this birth mother and for this baby. What we want is that she is able to do whatever it is she really feels is best for her and her child, whether that be for the baby to be parented by us or her, or someone else. I know my thoughts and prayers are with her (and L - that she's able to find this birthdad and get somewhere with him).

Today's lesson, maybe, just maybe, sometimes signs really are signs and not just in your head. And maybe, just maybe, I should trust them and have a little more faith.

P.S. Um, important detail - yeah, the baby's due 9/24. Yeah, that's right about 2 weeks. And I repeat, crap, y'all.


Loeffler Family Blog said...

Big smiles for you and the way the day unfolded... on pins and needles to hear what you find out from "L" the social worker! definitely keeping all my fingers crossed and lifting you up in my thoughts.

Amanda said...

I am crossing my fingers, toes, eyes, arms, and legs for you well as sending all the positive mojo I can muster...