I'm slower than the average 5 year old

"I'm faster than the average momma. That means you, Momma." That's what my kid said to me the other night. I laughed, well, because he's funny. But then I started thinking about it. And I realized he is faster than me. And it's not just because he's a kid and has limitless energy (though lord knows that kid could run longer than just about anyone with all the energy he has!). It's more than that. It's because I have become so horribly out of shape in the last year, particularly in the last 6 months or so.

It started before baby E was born, though certainly has gotten much worse since his birth. There are a variety of reasons. The meds I'm on to breastfeed are part of it, I think. Lack of time, for sure is an issue, because all my "free time" goes to...well, wait, there isn't any "free time", which would be the problem. We had a really long, cold winter which prevented me from getting outside to walk with the boys  (as that has been for several years my primary source of exercise). I'm much too tired to think about getting up any earlier, because, really, 5:45am is too early for me most (aka all) days as it is, and by the time I get home in the evenings, I feel like I should (and I actually want to) spend time with my boys.

In short, exercise is even less important and prevalent in my life right now than it ever has been. Though, honestly, it's not like it's ever been what I would consider a priority. I did used to do it, though. At least on occasion. At least often enough to keep me fitting in my same size clothes. At least often enough for me to be able to run faster than my kid, even though ever since he started running, he's had more energy than me and thus could likely always run longer.

I know myself. I will never be like hubby - I will never, ever desire to run a marathon (he's in training as we speak). I will never be in the kind of shape necessary for that either. I think I could, if I wanted to. I won't want to. I can say that with complete confidence. What I would like, though, is to not get winded trying to keep up with my kid. What I would like is to be able to fit back into all my clothes. What I would like is to be able to carry my baby on a walk for more than a couple miles without being sore the next day. What I would like is to not have to struggle to get my wedding ring off by the end of the day because my fingers have gotten too fat. What I would like is to not feel like I'm twice my age.

I eat pretty healthy, though the last few weeks have seen a lot more eating out than is typical, or than I would like (for health and financial reasons). I do eat too much on occasion, but really, my diet is pretty good. What isn't, as you can probably guess, is my activity level. It's pretty abysmal. It's nearly nonexistent. Heck, it is nonexistent.

So, what's the plan? Is there a plan? Or am I just complaining for the sake of complaining? Not exactly sure. Yes - I think. And - not this time. So, loosely, the plan is that I am going to increase my activity level. That's generally it. I would post my weight, as a way to keep myself accountable, but there are a few problems with that. First, I have no idea what my weight is right now. Second, I don't actually care what my weight is. I am much more concerned with my health, how I feel, and my ability to keep up with the kiddo. Third, I would get fixated on a number and would give up if it didn't change. Besides, my weight has been, I think, within a 5-10lb window the last 5-8 years, no matter what size clothes I've been in, or how healthy I've felt. My weight, it seems, isn't really a good indicator of how healthy I am.

S, if anyone's interested, I'll post weekly my progress on being healthier. I think that will look different every week, walking in the park one week, hiking another, just taking some time to scrapbook another (because I've realized I haven't really taken time to do anything for myself in a long time). So, thats the plan. Exciting, right?!

Today's lesson - getting old sucks. So does feeling old. So does feeling tired, fat, and unmotivated to get off the couch. Also, a momma in her early 30's oughta be able to run faster than your average 5yo.