Zzzzzzzz.......

I know I've posted for before about sleep...how I miss it...how much I enjoy it...how well I'm coping with not getting it. Honestly, though, I'm not coping so well right now. Baby E is actually sleeping less (or at least in shorter stints) than he was as a newborn. Then, he'd consistently sleep 3 hours at a time, and usually would go at least 1 longer period of 4-5 hours. And at least then I could nap during the day, since I was still home with him.

Let's take last night as an example of what's been going on the last week or so - nursed him at 10p, put him to sleep and then laid him down at 10:45p. 12:30a - he fussed, so I stuck the paci back in his mouth and patted him for several minutes. 2a - he fussed, I waited several minutes to see if he'd settle himself back to sleep, no go, he was starting -to really wake up and actually cry, so I stuck paci back in his mouth and patted him for several minutes, this wasn't working so hubby got up and rocked him (or something, I don't know, I fell back asleep). 3a - hubby put him in bed with me, took several minutes for him to settle back down. 415a - started squirming, stuck paci back in mouth and patted again. 545a - alarm went off, up I get for the day. So, if you do the math, the longest stretch I got was about 1hr 45min. I figure I probably got about 5.5hrs of sleep total. And, really, last night was better than the previous several nights. Yeah.

Someone was talking about dreams the other day and I was trying to remember the last one I had. No idea. I don't think I get to sleep long enough to even get into REM stage sleep. Now, I am not a napping kind of girl. And I am envious of those of you who can sleep in any situation, because the circumstances have to be just right for me to be able to fall asleep (quiet, non-busy location, no one else around, etc...). So the fact that I took a nap in my car with the windows down in the parking lot at lunch yesterday is rather significant. It told me what I had already started to notice, that I am utterly and completely exhausted.

A couple of mornings ago, I was driving the kid to school (baby E was also with us). I was going along and realized we were almost there and I had absolutely no recollection of our drive. I know that happens sometimes, you get used to going the same route and autopilot kicks in. But this was different. I couldn't recall whether the kid had been talking, or baby E was quiet or fussing, or anything. It dawned on me that I really shouldn't be driving, it probably wasn't safe for anyone, especially my kids.

Also, though I certainly get cranky with hubby - and even sometimes the kid - when I'm tired, I've never gotten frustrated with baby E. Until the night before last. It wasn't anything major (I just slightly raised my voice and said "Oh, come on, just go to sleep already"), but still. It was the first time I've felt frustrated with him. And he puckered his little face up and looked like, well, like someone who he adores had just yelled at him. So, I cried, and still feel guilty. (I know, it happens to the best of us, I'm just going to feel bad about it.)

So, what am I going to do about it? Yeah, I have no flippin' idea. Cry-it-out isn't an option for us. We already swaddle him (and have also tried not swaddling him - that was even worse).  He sleeps in our room for a variety of reasons (it's best practice regarding lowering the risk of SIDS, he's up so many times that it's easier than running back and forth to his room all night, etc...). He has a consistent bedtime routine, it doesn't always include a bath/shower, but whether or not it does doesn't seem to affect how well he sleeps. Also, he isn't eating at night, and doesn't seem hungry. But, even when we do feed him, that also doesn't seem to affect how well/long he sleeps. It is possible that he's teething right now, which may account for all of this, but we've tried teething rings (cold and room temperature) and even Tylenol, neither of which have helped.

Today's lesson - I'm much too tired to come up with one. BUT, I would really like for you all to give me one. Please, please, pretty pretty please give me some ideas about what we can do to get this crazy baby to start sleeping better.