Gentlemen and Ladies: A Convo with my Kid

My friend, JE, is taking the kid to see a movie today (something about pirates?). She told him she'd take him a long time ago (like 2 months - that's a long time in a 6yo's world), and he has not forgotten. He finally guilted her into it when we were together on the 4th and they set a date for this afternoon.

So, this morning while I was getting ready for work, the kid and I had a little chat about proper behavior when out with a lady. It went a little something like this...


Me: So, kiddo. Tell me about how a gentleman should behave when out with a lady?
Kid: (blank stare, head cocked to side)
M: What kinds of things should you do to be respectful when you're out with Mrs JE?
K: Oh, yeah. Well, I use nice words. Like please and thank you.
M: Absolutely, I like how you're thinking. What else?
K: I can let her go in to the seat aisle first.
M: Great!
K: Also, I should be quiet during the movie.
M: Excellent idea. Not just to be polite to Mrs JE, but also for everyone else there.
K: Of course. And if I need to poop, I'll just tap on her shoulder and tell her real quiet, "Mrs JE, I need to poop".

(Somewhat long conversation regarding how he probably should try to do that before he leaves the house and, should he need to go to the bathroom, he doesn't need to specify why.)

M: Okay, what else can you think of?
K: Well, I could open the doors for her.
M: Yeah, that's a really nice idea. You know, kiddo, another thing that's nice to do when you're out with a lady is to compliment how lovely she looks.
K: (looks hard at me, and is silent for a minute) Well, momma. You're naked. But you have a flower in your hair. And, man does it look nice. You sure are pretty! (big grin, quite pleased with himself)
M: (laughing hysterically) I think you got this, kiddo.

Today's Lesson: My kid does not need lessons from me on how to woo the ladies. Kid's got that one all covered.