A Shot

This one time when we were camping, the chiggers were prolific. Hence, the chigger bites were ridiculously prolific. I stopped counting at 80 bites. Mostly because I couldn't see the rest (that I knew were there because I could feel their incessant itching). But also because I was tired of counting.

I couldn't sleep for the itching. And I couldn't concentrate while I was with clients, because of the itching. And I was afraid I was going to scratch and end up with infected and still itchy bites. So, I sucked it up and made an appointment with my doctor.

Now, I hate to go to the doctor, which is funny since I (now) work at the hospital. I have been to my primary doctor maybe 3 times in the last 10 years. The other times were for allergy medication. Remind me to tell you some time about how the resident kept asking me about my sexual liaisons with women (there have been none, btw). But she was insistent about it. And all I wanted was an allergy med refill.

Anyway, I digress. To the doctor I went. The doctor came in and thankfully did not want to discuss my sexual history. She was all "I'm gonna go get you a script and then you'll be outta here". So I sat there waiting for it.

Enter the bitchiest nurse ever.

She had the biggest needle I've ever seen. My eyes got big. She rolled her eyes and told me to drop my drawers. My eyes instantly started tearing up. I hate shots, y'all. I mean I abhor them. As in I cry. Every. Single. Time. And I hadn't even had time to prepare myself. I tried to explain to her that the doctor had told me she was writing me a prescription. She, very (not at all) empathetically said, "do you want to get better or not?". I assured her I did want the infernal itching to stop, which was, of course, why I'd come. But I'd seriously prefer not to get a shot. But, I'd do it.

The tears threatened to spill over.

She said, "seriously, are you going to cry?!". I told her that I might just do that. She rolled her eyes even bigger and issued a major sigh. I tried to pull it together and did a few deep breaths (seriously, I hate me some needles). She gave me 30-45 seconds and then sighed an even bigger sigh, "are you ready yet?". I, not so nicely, told her to give me the damn shot already. Which she then did. In a stabby rude kind of way. And then rolled her eyes again.

And I wanted to stab her. But instead, I covered my now sore ass back up and gave her a "I hate you, you mean nasty woman" look. I'm sure she was quite affected by that look.

And then my ass hurt for the next several days. But the bites did stop itching.

Today's Lesson: Sometimes even though something's a pain the ass, it's totally worth it.