Friday, May 6, 2011

To all the Mommies in our Village

As I was driving the other day, I started thinking about all the moms in my life.

There is, of course, my awesome mom. I could go on and on about her, but then I would start crying (and I totally get that from her - thanks a lot mom). Overall, I am the mother, and person I am in large part because of her.

There is my grandmother. The original social worker in my life. Always poised, ladylike. So knowledgeable. So good at gently reminding me of the basics of parenting (i.e. no, your 2 year old can't be expected to follow 3 and 4-step directions, Becky!).

There are my aunts, so different, all have taught me things about about motherhood. Attachment parenting, acknowledgement that children are people deserving of the same respect and attention we afford adults, that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed babies, that family is family even when you don't see them frequently- these are lessons I learned watching my aunts parent.

There is my MIL. She raised the man I love and is another social worker role model. She even calls to check on me when I'm driving through potential tornadoes.

There is baby E's sitter, also one of my dearest friends. I don't know where we'd be without her. Because of her, I know baby E is loved all day. She is such a beautiful example of faith, a reminder for me to be more trusting and faithful.

There are the kid's teachers. They have taught me that "stop" is more effective than "no". They are patient with the kid all day long, something I aspire to.

There are my mommy friends. The one who first taught me the pain and love of a birth mother. The one who showed me how patience looks when you have 5 kids. The one who is discerning whether she wants to be a mommy (for the record, I totally think you should go for it, it would be a shame for kids to miss out on you and even that husband of yours). There are the ones who also became moms through adoption and commiserate with me on the insensitive things people say to us about adoption. And those who did it the traditional way, who can commiserate about breastfeeding woes. There are the mommies in waiting, yearning for their babies. I remember how challenging Mothers' Day will be for them and I yearn with them for their children to be in their arms.

There are all of baby E's milk mommies - more than 10 of them at this point! They have helped to nourish my child in a way I couldn't fathom was possible. They have done for him what I couldn't. They have taken his eczema and cradle cap away and, I'm convinced, helped to make him the super happy creature he is.

There are L and R, the women who made me a mother, the boys' first mothers. I don't have words to describe how important these two women are in my life, to my life. They have taught me different things about selflessness and love, about pain and grief. Simply put, I love them and will eternally be grateful for their choices of life and adoption.

To all these women, thank you for your love and support, for being who you are. Thank you for being the mothers in our village. My family wouldn't be the same without you. Even more, you are essential in our village.

Today's lesson - Sometimes, when the baby disappears, you just have to follow the drool path on the kitchen floor and it will lead you right to him. Babies apparently are sometimes like snails.

1 comment:

Emms said...

I love your blog. sometimes I laugh and sometimes you remind me of hard times and u want to cry. It is amazing how you deal with adversity and the love you feel for those who have made your dreams come true. You are a true inspiration.