Monday, October 11, 2010

Our 2nd visit with R

Today we had our second visit with R and it was really good. I think. Hubby had to leave just as she and L, our social worker, were arriving because he had a previously scheduled work-related meeting. So, I was rather nervous because it was a visit with R, the kid was there, and hubby was not. L had called earlier, though, and said it was going to be a shorter visit. She also said that the intention of the visits from here on out are for us all to build our relationship, not solely for R to spend time with baby E. So that helped me feel a little better and less nervous about the visit.

The visit was shorter than the last one, and more comfortable, for me at least. The kid turned out to be a good distraction, because, well, he kind of demands attention. And, though I may be somewhat biased about this, he's rather amusing. R held baby E for much of the visit, but she immediately gave him to me as soon as he started fussing in the least. She also made several comments that just seemed like she's moving to thinking of him as our son, though I know she'll always consider him her son as well. and, so will we; he always will be her son. We actually had an interesting, though, brief, conversation with the kid about how baby E has 2 moms - me/momma, and R/his birthmother, just like the kid has to moms - me and his birthmom.

So, what now? Well, I'm not exactly sure. We didn't talk about a next visit; I'd planned to ask L about it today as we were scheduled to have a one-on-one with her today, though she had to cancel. She has to ask those questions like "how much does he weigh?" and "how are you all handling the lack of sleep?", etc... I do know, now, that it's all going to be okay. We're all going to be okay, all of us. I know it, I feel it. We're going to be more than okay, we're going to be good.

Today's lesson - if you're in the car with a baby who's screaming at the top of his lungs, and you're on a busy road with nowhere to stop and pull over, and your husband moved the carseat from the middle of the backseat to one side (okay, so maybe you asked him to do it), but you now can't reach the baby to stick your finger in his mouth, and your 4yo keeps telling you that the baby is crying and asking you to do something about it and you feel like your head might explode, or you might burst out in tears which wouldn't be safe when driving 60mph...yeah, so when all that's going on, you should turn the radio on to a station, well a non-station/a channel without a station, one that's playing just static because that will make the furious baby be quiet, and maybe even go to sleep, and your head will not explode, though you may still cry but from relief this time. and then your kid may just tell you you're a rock star of a momma. And that will make your day.

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