Teaching Words

By the time the kid was 15 months, he was repeating - very clearly - absolutely everything we said. By the time he was 18 months, he was talking in not just sentences, but paragraphs. While I knew he was ahead of his development, language-wise, it's only in the last year, since baby E has hit and surpassed those ages, that this has been cemented for me.

Now, don't misunderstand, baby E is exactly where he should be language-wise. But that is, as I just described, way behind where the kid was. And, funny enough, I'm totally fine with that. Because, I mean, really, I can't imagine all the damn talking that would be going on otherwise. There would be no quiet around here ever.

Also, the kid was a tiny parrot, copying absolutely everything that came out of anyone's mouth (good, bad, and ugly). I had to curb my use of some of my favorite words (you know, the 4 letter ones), because he'd have copied those in a heartbeat, and then used them incessantly thereafter. For better or worse, I've been able to continue to use that potty mouth around baby E. And it's not been an issue in the least.

Until Thursday morning.

I was trying to clean up the craphole that is my house lately. And baby E disappeared and then I heard grunting (indicating he was starting to poop). I ran to him and used my fake excited voice, "come on, E, you're going to poop in the potty! Yay, like a big boy!!". And he was all, "NOOOOOOOOOO!" because that's his favorite word.

I sat him on the toilet and stepped out for less than 30 seconds to get rid of the wet diaper. When I walked back in, he was pulling a sopping wet washcloth out of the toilet. That had pee in it. Lots of pee. I grabbed him, and it. And then noticed a tooth brush in the toilet. And then a travel size tube of tooth paste. Both in the toilet. Covered in pee.

And then I said, not so under my breath, "son of a bitch".

And then he said, quite clearly, "NO son of a bitch, momma".

And I said, "I mean Merry Christmas".

And he said, "NO Merry Christmas. Son of a bitch, momma".

And, frankly, that about sums up where I am right now.

Also, if my toddler says "Son of a Bitch" to you, what he's really saying is "Merry Christmas".


Today's Lesson: We spend lots of time imagining and dreaming about all the awesome things our kids will say and do when they get older. And then sometimes, they surprise even us. Also, perhaps I should watch my potty mouth around my toddler.