One thing many people around her don't know, is that she is a birth mother. She made a choice many years ago to find a family for her daughter because she wasn't in the position to give that sweet baby girl the life she wanted her to have. Today is that baby girl's birthday. She's no longer a baby, but she is still my friend's daughter. And my friend thinks of her every. single. day. She loves her. And these are some words my friend wanted to share on this day, the anniversary of the day her daughter was born, when she became a mother, and a birth mother.
Family: what makes up a family? A mom, dad and child. Sometimes there are more people involved like other siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousin, pets, etc. Sometimes it is any uncountable combination of any of the above and then some that make up a family. Some families come to be the traditional way and some not so much. There are many circumstances that create a family and one of them is adoption. That’s what I want to talk about today. Especially today.
Even today, adoption can be a dirty word. Something that people just don’t like to talk about. There is still a stigma attached to the word adoption about the birth mother; she is selfish or she was promiscuous. There are many more, but it makes me too sad to think about. The one statement above that really gets under my skin is that she was selfish. I am sure there are some mothers that give up their child for very selfish reasons. But I choose to believe that there are many, many more that give their child up for the right reasons that are filled with so much love and wanting so much more for your child than you can possibly give. This decision does not come easily and comes with agonizing thoughts of what if, but mostly, is overwhelmingly full of love.
My best friends in the world have the most beautiful family with two of the most adorable little boys that are the lights of their lives. They both are adopted. Now that I stop for a minute and think about it, I have just as many friends that have wonderful and loving families the nontraditional way (adoption) as I do the “traditional way”. This does not make them different, or special, it just makes them a family. And, really, that is all that matters in life.
I just ask, today especially, that the next time you hear that someone is adopted or that someone has made a sacrifice so great that that you simply could not imagine, don’t judge. Those birth moms out there, no matter how they came to their decision, they never forget and never stop loving. Any way you come about making your family, I am sure it’s about love.
Today's Lesson: I think my friend has this one covered. Love you, sweet friend.