Sunday, December 12, 2010

Anniversary of the Kid's Adoption Day

Tomorrow is the 4th anniversary of the kid's adoption day. I pointed it out to hubby and he said, "gosh, I wish we could get ahold of L and D" (the kid's birth parents). And that got me thinking about what I would tell them if I could talk to them. So here it is...

Dear L and D-
When I think about what our lives looked like before this kid, I don't know what we did. I don't even know who we were. This kid made me a momma. He altered my life in the most permanent way possible. He changed the core of who I am. He made me a better person. He also made me a more tired person. But I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him to chase after, to talk to, to laugh at, to sing with, to read to, to snuggle in bed with, to explain things to, to love. We may have slept a lot more before he was born, but we were also a lot more boring.

I don't know what his life would have looked like had you chosen to parent him. But I do know what his life looks like now. First and most importantly, he is surrounded by people who completely adore him. Us, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, dear friends, and even a brother, who, at not even 3 months old, looks for him at the sound of his voice and lights up at the sight of his face. L and D, this child is so loved.
I know at least one family who made the choice to adopt directly because of this kid. I don't know what he will do with his life, but I know with my entire being that he will continue to affect other people in profound, positive, beautiful ways.

Also, he is so funny! He has the most delightful sense of humor, though he is also often funny without even knowing it. He loves words and language and picks them up with the most amazing speed. He is empathetic and intuitive. He adores his baby brother. He loves books, and legos, and dinosaurs, and swimming, and running, and camping, and hiking, and the outdoors, and music. He has the potential to be an amazing leader, though is so in tune with others' feelings, he sometimes makes poor choices to please or amuse them. He is a great eater and will pretty much eat anything, and will definitely take at least one bite. He has a total sweet tooth! Oh, yeah, he is made crazy by the slightest bit of red dye #40. Funnily, his favorite color is red, though he's not really a fan of purple.

I will never know for sure why you decided that you couldn't parent him, or why you chose us as his forever family. Nor will I ever know why you have decided that you can't be in our lives right now. I grieve for that. I grieve for your loss of this child. And I am grateful beyond words for the gift of him. Please know that we are always here, willing, wanting you to be in our lives. Please know that we think of you often, pray for you always. Know that we love you and are fostering that love in our son.

The words thank you are obviously inadequate, but in the end, they're all I'm left with.

Happy Adoption Day, kiddo! We love you and feel so blessed to be your parents.

Today's lesson - Candy canes have red dye in them. Red dye #40. Feel free to ask me why I know that for sure (other than it is very clearly written on the ingredient list of the box). Feel free to ask me why I didn't read that stupid box until it was too late.


Sarah said...

A wonderful letter. Happy adoption day :)

Lechelle said...

Becky! I haven't been on Adoption Voices in a while, so I missed your posts. Good to see you have a blog, I am going to have fun reading it!

Unfortunately my blog is private right now (boo!) but if you would like an invite please send me your e-mail address

I stopped breastfeeding Boston at 6.5 months. (sad) Long story, but it's on the blog.