Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Timing is Everything

Fishwatch 2010 - So Georgie is still going strong. We've (and by "we" I actually mean my dear husband) had to change the water daily since he - or she - came to live with us. He displays gratitude by swimming around the bowl like my kid on red dye (he's allergic and runs around CRAZY for hours). Maybe the fish will last...? I've probably doomed him with that and he won't make it til the morning. Sorry, fish.

Timing...throughout the time we were deciding to adopt, and the process itself, I had an internal clock about when things needed to be done. There was this knowing and absolute certainty, a peacefulness about the process. If we hadn't contacted the agency when we did (early April), we wouldn't have gotten into the class for the fall. If we hadn't taken that particular class and finished the paperwork by Christmas, the references never would have been back in time to be considered by our son's birth parents. We needed a crib, a friend of my mom's was getting rid of one...we'll take it. We needed other nursery furniture, my mom was redecorating and wanted to get rid of the dresser/ changing table she'd used with me and my brother...we'll take it. Perfect timing.

I wish this time things were that easy. I miss the feeling of confidence about our path, our decisions. Not that hubby was there with me. As tends to happen in our relationship, I drag him kicking and screaming to our destination, and once we get there he's ready and happy to be there.

I've just now had a thought - I wonder if that's what's happening right now, only instead of me dragging hubby along, God's dragging me along because I don't see the plan, but he's working on it anyway... Hummm... So, maybe today's lesson is that we all get dragged along sometimes, lol. Actually, I guess it's reinforcement for me that my plan isn't always the best. And I guess I need to know what it feels like to be dragged along. Still, it'd be nice to have even a small smidgen of that certainty from before. That's not really too much to ask, is it?

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