For the Love of Teenage Girls

I'm sure I've told you how much my kid loves (LOVES) teenage girls. It started when he was a little dude, no bigger than baby E is now. We'd be just walking around the neighborhood and a gaggle of girls would wander down the other side of the road. This would cause the kid would literally stop in his tracks. He'd stand completely still, only following the girls with his head. Staring holes in them. Sometimes they'd look back, smile, say "hi". He'd grin his big face splitting smile and wave back. Or sometimes his eyes would just get really big and he'd continue to stare. Then he'd say, "them's my girls".

At one point he had 14 imaginary teenage sisters who all lived in our basement. Sometimes, when it's late and I have to go downstairs, I get creeped out thinking about all those imaginary sisters down there, mulling around. He hasn't mentioned them in quite a while, though, so maybe they've vacated the premises. I can only hope.

He desperately wanted a baby sister. I think part of that was because that meant she'd grow up to be a teenage girl.

He used to talk - all the time - about going on dates with different teenage girls (and women in their early 20's). He had a plan, y'all, about where they were going and what they were going to do. Though he tended to forget about the transportation issue.

We've joked about though he's little and cute right now, as he gets older, the behaviors/words he uses now in reference to teenage girls will move in to the realm of creepy, then even stalker-ish. We've hoped he'll outgrow it and learn more socially appropriate ways to, uh, appreciate the fairer sex. And really, overall, he's stopped talking about teenage girls quite so much in the last several months.

Until last week.

Hubby and the kid were in the car, headed home from running an errands. Something on the radio (probably some crappy country song) prompted hubby to ask the kid what he'd do if he had a million dollars. And the kid, well, just you guess what he said. My sweet, darling boy, he said that he would buy a whole bunch of teenage girls and keep them in his bedroom.

Hubby, when he could process speech again and had stopped laughing hysterically, asked the kid what he'd do with all those girls in there. The kid very quickly responded that it was a secret, something he wouldn't share. But, "make no mistake, the door will stay closed".

Ladies and gentleman, we have officially moved way past cute to creepy. And so very much earlier than I expected. Also, 14 imaginary creepy basement-dwelling sisters sound much better that 14 real adolescent girls held captive in my boy's room.


Today's Lesson: Sometimes there are things our kids do when they're little that seem cute and amusing. You know the things I'm talking about - the funny little tantrums, or the cuss words (oh, am I the only one who giggles when she hears profanity coming out of someone's toddler? My bad...), the teenage girl stalking. A word from the (now) wise, curb it when they're little. Those things are not nearly as cute when junior grows up. Or - apparently - is 6.