I came across this quote on a blog somewhere today (oh, how I wish I could remember and give it's author due credit!!). It spoke to me in such a beautiful way. It articulated something for me in such a simple manner, something I'd been unable to say. So I thought I'd share.
The desire to be a parent "...is simply the desire to experience incredible love for another... don’t chalk that up to logic".
This perfectly explains my reason for wanting baby # 3. I know, I know. Baby E is hardly 1! And he's barely begun to sleep through the night. And where would that money come from. And. And. And. The reasons not to add another child to our family are perfectly reasonable and logical. And there are plenty of them.
But here's the thing. There are - will be - always reasons not to do it, not to add another baby to our family. Logic can be used to justify nearly anything. However, the heart, well, as the old adage says, the heart wants what it wants. And that simply isn't logical. Nor can it be made so.
And I wonder how our experience with infertility has played into this. I have always wanted to be a momma. Always. I mothered other people's children from the time I can remember. I played with my cabbage patch kids for probably much too long (long enough that I did it in secret from friends because I knew they were probably no longer playing with theirs). I was babysitting when I was barely in double digits. I pretended to nurse my dolls. All the time. I love kids. Always have.
But I wonder whether this was even further intensified by how we had to fight to get them. I wonder if part of why I want more babies is because all I've done my whole life is want them and how do you just walk away from that?! Especially when it took so long, so much effort, so many tears, so much heartbreak. And has led to so much joy...
Today's lesson - when the head (logic) and the heart (feelings) conflict, you must decide which will prevail. And it's not an easy thing to do. And that's when the gut steps in. Always listen to the gut. It seems to be the best judge.
5 comments:
So very true and well spoken. I've been ready for #2 for months even though bug is only 14 months. i think for at least part of the same reasons you mention.
I really like that you have 'today's lesson' on your posts and enjoy reading them.
I have been realizing that I need to pay more attention to my heart and gut and just not my head... it's difficult. Hard to decide whats the right answer.
I hope hope hope baby #3 comes in the best possible way. I'll pray that money and situations works out for your family to have him/her smoothly. Hugs
Oh my, you verbalized my current situation perfectly. I tried on my blog but you are more eloquent. I have only been able to get to I KNOW we shouldnt have #3 for $ reasons, my age, our house size, and so many other reasons. But I just can't fathom the finality of saying we are done....Ive been chalking it up to our struggles...
So good luck with logic vs feelings and keep us posted!
I love love love this post. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Nobody or no circumstances you have a say about how and when you build your family. It was our gut that led us to stepping up for the girls. Our heads told us it would be too hard and not fair to the boys. But our hearts and just a "feeling" led us to our new family.
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