Sunday, January 30, 2011

Change

What to write about today........ I could write about how awesome it is that after only 4 days sans formula, baby E's eczema is virtually GONE. Or how I am loving being a SAHM for this short time before starting my new job. Or how fabulous my husband was to me today for letting me sleep in til 9:30. Or how excited I was (heck, am!) that baby E slept 7 straight hours last night. That really was freaking awesome (hummm, exclusive breastmilk again = sleeping through the night again...interesting...). Or how wonderful it was to get outside finally this weekend because the temperature finally went above 40 degrees.


But, instead, I think I'll write about how my baby (and by that I mean, the kid) is growing up. In 10 days, my kiddo will be 5. There have been little signs lately, constantly reminding me about how he's getting older. His nap is starting to get shorter and shorter. I fear we will soon lose it all together. I will grieve for this nap. Seriously, I will cry. I need this nap. His attention span for one activity is lengthening, especially for things he's really into. Right now it's these cool building things my aunt gave him. I am absolutely amazed at the things he builds - from dinosaurs that actually look like dinosaurs, to elaborate vehicles. It's so cool to see his imagination come into reality.


He rarely talks about his "14 sisters" anymore, which is a little sad for me. They played such a huge part in his life for so long, I kinda miss them. It seems like once baby E came into the picture, he no longer needed them anymore. Interesting that a real brother negated the need for 14 imaginary sisters. I am grateful for that, though.


His behavior in general is improving. For example, the last few weeks at church have been much better for all of us. Normally, that hour is one of the most stressful of my week. It involves constantly telling him to whisper, stop, don't, no, stay still, etc... - you get the idea. This usually falls on me because he seems to inevitably want to sit next to me, away from hubby. I often walk out of mass wanting to literally pull my own hair out, or shake him senseless, or shake hubby senseless just because. However, the last couple of weeks have necessitated only a couple of gentle reminders about appropriate behavior. And those reminders have not elicited the typical loud protesting response. Instead, he has actually done what I've asked him. It's like a miracle.

And, worst of all, my baby is going to go to kindergarten in the fall and we have to register him in 2 weeks. KINDERGARTEN!!!!!!! I'm actually trying to avoid thinking about this because just the thought is completely traumatic.

No other birthday has seemed so significant, not even his first, as this 5th birthday. It seems like a move from babyhood into childhood. And though I have no doubt that my baby is ready for this transition, and indeed has already started to make it, I am hesitant for the inevitable to happen.

Today's lesson - Change is good. It's often excruciatingly painful and ugly. But the end result is growth. And growth is good. Really good. Right?

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Awwww... Yay for breastmilk! I have had similar experiences with my little guy's excema clearing up when he is on exclusive donor breastmilk! And my big guy just turn 5 at the end of December. I have applied for him to go to a Charter School in our area; allegedly, there is a long waiting list :( but I'm hopeful! I wish you continued success with your beautiful babies :)