Milk Mommies

I am hesitant to even write this post. I know it will bring up stuff for other people who may then direct it to me. But, well, I've never had a good filter in the real world, so why would I in the blogging one. So, here goes.

As I'm typing this, I'm nursing baby E. This is, apparently, a controversial issue in and of itself, ya know, since I didn't give birth to him and all, but it isn't what I'm about to spill. Mine and baby E's nursing relationship has always involved, and always will, an SNS (supplemental nursing system), which is like a bottle with little tubes coming out of it (also not the surprising part of this post). So, while he nurses and gets whatever breastmilk I produce, he also gets formula from the SNS. But sometimes it's not formula (here it comes). Sometimes it's donated breastmilk. You know, from other mothers. Some of whom I have never met, except when I picked up milk from them. To date, baby E has had the breastmilk of 4 different mommas, including me. Hopefully this week we'll be getting milk from 2 more mommies, each from different parts of the state.

Okay, so before I get into the "why" of our reasons for doing this, let me address the safety concerns many of you now have running through your brains. Yes, (very few) diseases can be passed through breastmilk. Yes, (certain) medications can be passed through breastmilk. Pregnant women are routinely tested for those diseases. The women who pumped that milk , did so with the intention of giving to their own babies. They would not have done so if they were doing anything that could negatively affect their own children. Yes, we are taking somewhat of a risk, but it's minimal. So, here's why...

Had I given birth to baby E, he would have been EBF (exclusively breastfed). As much effort as I put into inducing lactation this time, the actual output is small. I figure I make about an ounce of breastmilk per feeding. That's about 25% of what he needs. Yes, that's great for someone who didn't give birth, and I had resolved myself to it. Then a wonderful social worker who I was in graduate school with mentioned that she had 200+oz left over from her last baby, and that she simply couldn't toss it out, even though her baby was already 18 months old and wasn't drinking it anymore. She had had a huge supply (I believe she likened herself to Elsie the Cow, if I remember correctly) and hadn't even pumped since before her daughter's birthday. She offered, I knew she was healthy, and made healthy lifestyle choices, so I accepted. Hubby was hesitant until we looked at the research and info together - we jointly decided that this was a decision we were both comfortable with.

It was enough of a "stash" that baby E had only breastmilk for almost 3 weeks. And what I saw was that the eczema that had started to pop up, completely went away. And his bowel movements, which had been sporadic and difficult for him to pass, were now frequent and easy for him. He was less fussy and slept better. When the stash was gone, I was sad. But more importantly, baby E's eczema came back within a few days, and with a vengeance. The sleeping went all wonky again and he was fussy!! His belly obviously hurt and bowel movements again became difficult and seemingly painful.

So, I started to research other options. I sent out emails to people who I know have lots of connections to new mommas. And that's when I found Eats on Feets. (Go google them, or do a facebook search. Go on. I'll wait). Basically, for those of you who didn't follow directions, it's a FB page that hooks up mommas with extra milk, with babies who need it. It's free. Their motto is "human milk for human babies". There is little else that makes quite so much sense to me as that statement. Why in the world would I feed baby E anything substandard, when that"liquid gold" is available.

70 years ago, wet nursing was the norm here. Sister, neighbors, friends, servants, all breastfed each other's babies. Then the formula companies came in and convinced us that breastfeeding wasn't normal, that what our bodies naturally do wasn't good enough, that cow's milk was better for babies that human milk. I'm impressed with their marketing. I am not impressed with their product. Around the world, babies are still cross-nursed by other women. It's normal. There is nothing gross, or wrong about it. It is about feeding babies. Perhaps they *have* to and we don't because they don't have formula readily available to them like we do. That, however, doesn't mean it isn't still the *best* option.

I am so grateful for all of baby E's milk mommies. From my social worker friend, to my coworker (baby e got a few feedings from her because she left some milk at work and wouldn't get a chance to get back before it need to be used so she said I could take it for him), to a camping buddy, to complete strangers from all over our state. Each of them is so special to us. I will tell him about them as he gets older, and explain the wonderful gift they gave to him, a gift that I couldn't, a selfless gift. And as hubby said, all we want is the best for baby E. That's all, and that's normal.