I joined a group of, well, shall we say hippie-ish parents on FB. For the most part, I find much of the content interesting and helpful. I don't know that I've ever seen any kind of posting about infertility there. In fact, many of the families seem to have several (4+ children). That certainly leads me to believe infertility isn't a huge issue for most the families. But I don't hold it against them.
However, a recent post just about made my head explode.
It read as follows (with names changed by me):
"Amy and Bob were both born on the same day, and their birthday is coming up soon. While Amy's due date WAS Bob's birthday, we never expected her to actually be born on that day. So, now DH and I have a dilemma. Do we try to conceive so our third is born on that day, too? Or do we just let it up to the universe to decide? Our reasoning for wanting to have them all born on the same day is so the third doesn't feel left out when his/her siblings are celebrating, and vice versa. Plus, it would be really cool. But, of course, we would never consent to an induction or cesarean to guarantee they all shared a birthday."
There are all kinds of responses to this post. Fortunately most of them say something along the lines of "just let it happen". But even that makes me either want to yell or laugh bitterly. I mean, really?! I've gone back to that post several times the last couple of days, trying to decide if I should respond. Well, that's not true. I know I shouldn't. So, I suppose it's more about reminding myself of that.
Because what I want to say is something along the lines of, "Just be grateful you can get pregnant. Just be grateful you have carried babies to term. Just be grateful that your children are healthy. And then just shut the hell up. Have sex whenever you want. Get pregnant, or don't. But, for the love of Pete, why don't you try just hoping that the Universe doesn't laugh at you and tell you to go screw yourselves. Because that's how some of us feel. Also, how grown up of you to not consent for an induction to guarantee they have the same birthday."
The problems of the fertiles. I wish they made me laugh. Instead they make me grind my teeth.
Today's Lesson: Sometimes we should all keep our words to ourselves. Because the words don't do anyone any good, even if they would make us feel better for a moment. The wisdom is in recognizing that before the words leave our mouths. Or fingers, as the case may be.