Saturday, December 3, 2011

And then, we still weren't sleeping

So, maybe it  feels like I'm beating a dead horse with this topic, because really what else could I have to say, and yet here it is... We're not sleeping here at my house. Yeah, still. It's been more than a year and this crazy baby is still up every 2-3 hours. Thought lately it seems like it's been more like every 1.5-2 hours. It's the epitome of awesomeness. Or the antithesis. One of those. Although one night recently he did sleep 9 hours straight. I'm betting it won't happen again for another month. 'Cause that's how things roll at my house.

And I'm just tired. I'm beyond tired. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I have moments where I am on the brink of a breakdown. The moments seem to come more often of late. They're moments when I just can't deal with whatever it is that's going on, which is usually related to my sweet kid. He is getting the brunt of it. I sort of hate myself for that at times because I know it's not his fault. I know he's innocent and already struggling himself because of all the ridiculous school stuff. (Sigh) But, it is what it is right now.

So, I'm feeling desperate. Like almost to the point of going the CIO (cry it out) route with baby E, because, seriously, I just don't know what else to do. I've been sleeping on the floor of his room with my arm in his crib for much of this week. Because, sadly, I still seem to get more sleep that way than if he's in there alone, or even in our bed. It hurts, as in I can hardly move today because my back hurts so much. However, I'm at a loss of what else to do.

Everything we did with the kid and all the suggestions I've given to other parents, none of them have worked. Sometimes he'll sleep 7-9 hours (though those are rare, like once every couple of weeks), but most of the time he's up several times a night. And those times he's up, he lately is crying, not screaming, but crying, just until we either pick him up or pat on him. He'll eventually for back to sleep, but it's short-lived. Up until a couple of months ago, he was just grunting and it was only minutes til he was back asleep. Now, though, it's more like 10-15 minutes. Long enough that I'm fully awake and it takes awhile to get back to sleep.

And I can't pick out any kind of a pattern as to when he does sleep. I mean, it's usually when he's had 2 good uninterrupted naps in the day, but getting those naps is by no means a guarantee that he will sleep all night. On the nights he does sleep, he's usually taken 8+oz while nursing just before bed, but, again, just because he does have that much doesn't mean he'll sleep. But those two things are about the only factors I've identified. Beyond that, I got nothin'.  Other than frustration and exhaustion. Those I've got a-plenty.

Today's lesson - the baby knows when you're complaining about him and will inevitably wake up and fuss. Just to prove to you that he knows you're talking about him and doesn't appreciate it. And that you'd better get in there and pat his butt before he screams, and wakes up his brother. Because that's even less of a fun party.


Lady Lana said...

Sorry you're having a tough time, Becks. Hope something works out soon. Worse case scenario on a weekend Jr is at my mom's or her dad's I will sleep all day and come stay the night to rock your baby boy while you and the hubs get your sleep on. I do require payment in the amount of Daniel's barbecue chicken, 3 pieces (2 for me and 1 for Pops so he can taste the yumminess that I got more of). Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Do Ferber. Seriously.

Emms said...

I wish I had advice for you, but as you know we deal with it too. I feel like we've tried everything. I keep remindung myself that this too shall pass. Good luck mama, i hope you get some sleep soon!

Peg said...

Oh boy can I relate to this. Liam has been in our bed everynight for the last 2 years and it has definitely disrupted our sleep big time. I can't imagine getting the broken up bits like you guys. I don't know any advice that would help. We have ventured before in a little CIO but only when we knew it was just because he wanted one of us there not because of any other issue. Oh have I done the sleep on the floor with one hand up touching the crib :)

I can also relate to the sleep deprived snapping at the kids. Damon gets the brunt of it in our house. I laid into him this morning and although he was in the wrong, I completely overreacted.

Hang in there!

Jenn and Casey said...

Aww! Hope you get some rest soon!

E. Phantzi said...

We are in the same boat! G is 17 months and we've done CIO like 5 or 6 times and it never lasts. So it's not a cure-all either. Right now he starts the night in his crib and around midnight DH or I lies down with him in a twin bed in his room for the rest of the night. Even then he wakes up 2-3 more times yet.

It's hard. I just keep telling myself it won't last forever... but the exhaustion now definitely takes a toll on my patience and serenity with the kids.

I so feel you. Hope it gets better. Blame it on the teeth!