Friday, November 5, 2010

A Moment

I was sitting staring into baby E's eyes. We were having a moment. I was thinking, "I wonder who he will be? Who will he be in and of himself? Who will he be in our family? Who will he be in our world?". And then I thought, "What will he do to ease the suffering of others? How will he be a light and example to others? And what does he need from me to be able to do all that he is capable of doing?".

And then the most amazing thing happened. He got this really serious look in his eyes, opened them big, eyebrows way up high, arms and legs started flailing. And then he screamed "FEED ME!!!!!!!!!!!". Now, obviously he didn't actually say those words, but the meaning was fully obvious. And then I smelled a most identifiable odor. That's right. There I was having a moment, and all he was doing was being a baby - needing to be fed, and pooping, doing just what he was supposed to do.

It was such a good reminder for me. Instead of wondering and worrying about the unknown future, what I really needed to be doing - what baby E really needed from me - was to be here, in the present, giving him the things that I can easily do. So then I had another moment. I thought, "Wow, this is all he needs from me right now. Sometimes it feels overwhelming (like 4am when we've been up all night every 2 hours nursing), but I can totally do it. And all those other things he's going to need from me in the future, to become who he's supposed to be, those I can do, too. In this moment, all of those things feel completely overwhelming, but in the moment he needs them, I will be given the grace to do what he needs".

So, today's lesson is simple. Live in the moment. Do what needs to be done now. All that stuff in the future, you will have what you need then to accomplish it. And now, I hear him cooing. So what he needs from me right now is to smile and coo back. That, I could do all day!

1 comment:

taneshia said...

Good lesson. That's a good point - focus on your child as they are. I think it's easy to dream about your future...but you have to let that go and support/enjoy your child as he/she grows. So I gather :)