Today we are Official

It all came down to today. All this waiting (nearly 2 years for baby # 2, 8 months since he came, a half hour for the judge to finish in open court). In total more than 2 and a half years, came down to a less than 15 minute hearing in the judge's chambers. My mom was there as well as our dear friend M (also baby E's Godmother and fantastic babysitter) and her awesome kiddo Z (aka the kid's bff). We are so glad they were there to share and wittiness this huge event.

I was afraid we were going to be late because baby E decided he needed to eat just before we left, but we managed to get there just on time. We had to wait because the judge was still in the court room. The boys were pretty good waiting. Here's a couple of pics of what they were doing.

They both loved climbing up in the window to look at the skyline.

Not that they stayed still in that chair for long, but that's okay. Aren't they cute together?! Baby E was being patient and hanging out in the Moby while we waited and the boys ran around in their typical tornadic style. He was super tired, but stayed awake the whole time we were there.

We finally went into the judge's chambers and there were also a couple of other people there, whom I assure were clerks, in addition to us all, our attorney, the guardian ad litem, and the judge. We were sworn in and had to testify to the accuracy of the facts included in the adoption petition (i.e. our names, birth dates, how long baby E has been with us, etc...). The judge then asked us a few questions, I think just to get to know us a little better. He had me tell him about our typical week and seemed quite surprised that we actually eat dinner all together (not in front of the TV) every night. (Side note: thanks, mom, for making us do this growing up - I so now see the importance/benefits!) The judge then read that whole spiel about how baby E will now be afforded all the rights/privilege's of a "natural born" child (how I hate that term is a topic for another day). He said a bunch of other stuff, but, honestly, I was trying to convince myself to hold it together so I didn't go into the ugly cry. I was successful, btw. I didn't even have to wipe away any tears. I only got a bit glassy eyed.

As an added bonus, our attorney, who I know from my "social services" days, told the judge he isn't charging us his fee for the adoption! Hubby and I were quite surprised and touched. Come to think of it, we don't think he charged us for the kid's either (though that certainly doesn't mean we were looking for the same thing this time). Note to self, send him a gift card to somewhere cool as a thank you.

And then it was over. The judge let each of the 3 boys pick out a beenie baby to commemorate the day. The 2 big boys got bears with backpacks. The kid picked out a lobster for baby E. Don't ask me why. I'd put some pictures of this whole thing on here, but, well, we don't have any. Hopefully my mom and M got some good ones and will share. But here's one of us outside the court house. Finally, a legal forever family.



It's been an awesome day, y'all. I feel relieved and happy and tearful. I am sitting here nursing this crazy baby who refuses to sleep at night, and I am hit by the enormity of this day. And I am reminded, with his gooey, gummy grin, that he has no idea what happened. No idea that today is a big and important and absolutely momentous day in his life. A day that I have waited for for more than 2 and a half years. An awesome day. Because today we became official.

Today's lesson - we apparently need to work on government vs. church lessons for the kid. He asked, on the way to court today, "hey, Momma, are we going to tell the Pope that he can't ever give baby E to anybody else? Is that what today's all about?". "Sort of, kid, sort of."

Tomorrow!

So, tomorrow's the big day. The day we finally - at least in the eyes of the law - become a family for forever and always. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm sad about the people who can not join us. I'm disappointed and frustrated by the people who have chosen not to join us. I'm relieved. I'm grateful. I'm happy.

And, mostly, I'm just ready. Ready for this chapter, which has been full of so many ups and downs, to be closed.  Ready for a new one to begin. Ready to not have to make that qualifier of "we're in the process of adopting him". Ready to instead just say "he's our son". I'm ready.

Today's lesson - while in my heart it doesn't matter what some court says, in the eyes of the law, and all those other institutions that rely on the law, this is the last step in making baby E part of our family. It's going to be a good day.

Court Date (for real this time!)

So we actually have a court date - YAY!!!!! The lawyer's office called this afternoon and it's set for Wednesday 6/1 @11am. It's kind of an inconvenient time (being at the end of the school year, and right in the middle of the day), but we're so happy that it's scheduled and that our family and friends are going to join us. It's a special and momentous day and wouldn't feel right without them there to support baby E and us. They've been right there with us through the crazy rollercoaster ups and downs of this journey and it's right for them to share the end of this part of the ride as well. We're looking forward to sharing a celebratory lunch with everyone afterwards as well. What a beautiful, joyous day it will be!

Today's lesson - sometimes we have friends who know us well, yet aren't what we'd consider close. I think relationships with those people can be uncomfortable. It's hard to decide what is safe to say, and what you should stay away from. Just because you know a lot and have a long history, doesn't give you the right to say something such as "oh your baby doesn't sleep through the night probably because who knows that his birth mom did while she was pregnant with him". Some things are better left unsaid, even if they're in your head. Especially if you don't have a particularly close relationship with the person to whom you're saying it.

Or not.

So apparently we overestimated the confidence of the woman from our attorney's office when she said we'd have court next week. Baby E's adoption finalization hearing will not be happening next Friday. Suck. She called me back Thursday and said that the judge wants to meet with our attorney, the guardian ad litem, and the agency's attorney on Friday and they will then set the court date. I'm not sure why, especially since the agency's attorney has nothing to do with it. They didn't attend the kid's finalization and I confirmed with our worker yesterday that their attorney isn't involved in any way. So, I'm kinda confused and a little concerned. I am hoping that our attorney's office is just confused about the agency atty needing to attend,. Our worker said maybe she was thinking about with private adoptions, as things are different with those. Idk, but I am just a little nervous at this point. I was starting to think something  would be easy-ish. But apparently not.

Someone reminded me that it will happen when it's supposed to. And logically I know and agree with that. However, the pit of my stomach is on a different wavelength and hasn't gotten the message. I realize now how much better I'll feel when it's just DONE.

Today's lesson - sometimes Blogger sucks. It was down earlier this week for quite a while. It says it was only a day. Well, uh, my blog was down for longer than that. AND it deleted one (long) post and several comments. So, J, please don't think I deleted your comment, because I really liked it and am sad it's gone. So, yeah, boo on Blogger.

Court date!!!!!!!!

Just got off the phone with our attorney's office. It looks like we (hopefully) finally have a court date for next Friday to finalize baby E's adoption!!!! I'm a bit surprised (because I really have been way laid back about this whole thing), but I'm kinda tearful. I'll just blame it on the not feeling well thing. Yeah, that's what it is. Or not, but whatever. Actually, it seems like this is a valid thing to feel a bit emotional about. I mean, it's kinda big. Yeah, it's awesome.

After all this waiting, it just seems overwhelming and surprising that it's finally ending. And, by "ending", I mean I guess I've still be kind of on edge - without really realizing it, so this will hopefully lesson the anxiety I have just realized I was carrying. After waiting so long for him to be born, it didn't feel real that he was really here, until we got home. And then the whole R maybe changing her mind. I guess part of me was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I kept thinking that the finalization wasn't a big deal because he was already ours (and R and D's rights were already terminated). I think I was afraid of the 'what ifs'. But, by God, this is a big deal. And we are gonna celebrate that little guy. We are gonna celebrate our whole family.

Today's lesson - I consider myself to be pretty introspective. I'm constantly analyzing what's going on inside myself, trying to tease out why I feel or react a particular way. That said, I totally missed the bus on this one. So, the lesson? Hell, I don't know. I'm sure it's in there somewhere. Excuse me while I go blow my nose. It's allergies. (And maybe I am crying a little. Whatever.)